How I Came to Islam?

How I came to Islam? If I could, I would say "How Islam came to me" because in all honesty, I was not looking for it. However, an abundance and more, Praise belongs to Allah for guiding me to this immeasurable gift, and there is no regret to be found for His Favor.

I was born in Newark, New Jersey, where, I, my two sisters and brother were raised by our Grandmother. Despite not being a real religious household, a belief in God always was upheld. What did that belief mean and entail? I occasionally look back and wonder because I, for the most part, never believed in GOD. Raised as a very inquisitive individual, the concept of "GOD" could never really be answered for me. It seemed no matter whom I asked, I could never receive a convincing answer. So I stopped asking and stopped trying to believe. Along with that was the fact that I had experienced many things to make me disbelieve in God. So there I was, from the age of my remembrance, almost until the age of eighteen, an atheist - a very staunch and convinced one.

Sports were very dear to me. I had an above average talent that enabled me to excel in almost every sport I played. Even to the extent of receiving at least two separate scholarships to two different colleges for two different sports. The only requirement as told to me was to finish high school. I only wish that it had been as easy as it sounded.

A senior in high school, with less that 7 months to graduate and what? Well, how about the two-week old baby boy? How about the maintenance of the child's mother along with the child? How about the charge of being the "Man of the house?" How about personal wants and desires? How about the Grandmother who had been out of work for over 35 years raising 12 children and grandchildren? How about no job? A scholarship sounds very good, two sounds great! But when faced with such problems and many more, and for so long with no guidance and a clue to how to solve them, what is almost expected is exactly what happened.

In my early teens I looked to the streets, with hope that it would solve some of my problems, primarily my financial ones. Not fully in the street life, but enough to know how to get what I needed when I needed it. As time went on my involvement became more frequent, up until this present situation. At the age of 17, I was under arrest. Here, at this point is where it all started for me.

Now psychologically compelled to seek for a greater help outside of myself, I was offered God, yes, The One who I denied even existed for as long as I could remember. The One who, when I thought I needed help the most, didn't help me, but little did I know what was in store. So I took up the offer, with a very curious but objective approach.

I first encountered a Bible, which I believe was given freely to me by the facility at which I stayed. I read it looking for passages on forgiveness, mercy, and even a way out of my predicament. Not long after, Christian evangelists came to lecture us about their beliefs. I listened, but I had many questions. Although at that point I didn't ask any questions, they always stayed with me. This turned my attention away from reading the Bible looking for forgiveness and mercy, but now looking for an understanding of the Jesus figure.

I read and continued to read. The more I read the more I became confused and angry. Confused because what I was reading didn't agree with what they were preaching, and angry because at this stage I had begun to ask questions, but no one could answer them, even to the point of their dissatisfaction of me even asking questions. I almost became discouraged and ready to forget this whole "GOD' stuff.

But not just yet, someone sent me a Qur'an. This was because of my mentioning what I was doing in relation to religious study. So once I received this Qur'an, I decided to see what this Book had to say about this Jesus figure, since so much was focused around him by the Christians. To my satisfaction it did mention him, but to my amazement it portrayed an image quite different from what the Bible itself said about him, and an extremely different portrait of what the many Christians I heard say about him.

However, I liked what the Qur'an had to say about him. So I looked to the index of the Qur'an to find every verse and reference about Jesus and read it. The more I read the Qur'an about Jesus, the clearer the picture became for me, at least about Jesus, anyway. So after my many encounters with the Christians and their inability to clearly represent their beliefs, as well as their book, the Bible, I concluded that this faith, at least as expressed by those whom I had talked to could not be the truth.

Now I turned my focus to finding out whether or not this Qur'an was the truth. At this stage all I had was a Qur'an. This of course with the help of prayer. One thing I did learn and take with me from the Christians was the idea of prayer. Not that I prayed like them, or even with them, but I got from them the confidence to pray, for before this I never did pray, except as a child, which was only because I saw it being done, not because I believed in it.

I started reading the Qur'an from the front cover with the intention to complete it. Not long after I began, I came across what would be a determining factor for me. I read an introductory note about the preservation of the Qur'an, and how it has never been changed and is the same text as the original one, if compared. I was at least certain that what I had in my hand was exactly what Muhammad brought over 1400 years ago.

Since I was already liking what I read in the Qur'an I was not far away from believing that this was the true Word of God! I became immersed in reading this book that I often found myself up to 1-2 o'clock in the morning reading, taking notes. I started to look forward to locking down so I could read. Even the late night officers would leave the room lights on for me for an extra hour. Sometimes they would turn off the room lights and open my door so that I could use the light from the hallway to read for a while. And if that was not the case, I would stand at my door by the window and read by the hallway light until I got tired.

The Qur'an attracted me, and it was an attraction that I don't recall ever experiencing, especially over just some words. Or is the Qur'an just a bunch of words? It was one of these nights when I was up reading the Qur'an that I experienced what I was looking for and needed, to absolutely confirm that the Qur'an was the truth.

There was an officer who worked the late night shift who was a Muslim. Well, I was on my way back from the bathroom, which was located outside of our rooms and he happened to be in our unit. I was told about him being Muslim by another officer who I saw reading a book on the life the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). When I saw his name plate I said to myself, "that's him," pretty excited.

So it happened that there was a word that I didn't understand in the Qur'an, and I asked him about it. He told me to get my Qur'an. When I showed him the verse, he looked at it for a minute and then he started to read it. But he started to read it in Arabic, and when I heard it, with no exaggeration I nearly yelled. I honestly thought that at that moment that he had some special powers. It sounds funny, but I thought he was performing some type of magic. I never heard anything like it in my entire life. I was literally mesmerized.

I questioned him about it and he told me what it was, and I remember making an oath with myself immediately that I was going to learn how to do that. And by the favor of Allah I did, Al-Hamdulillah! After hearing the Qur'an recited in Arabic, there was nothing to stop me from believing what I hold firm today, 7 years later, that the Qur'an is from the Divine.

Accepting the Qur'an means accepting everything in it. Every letter, every word, every belief, everything! So, since that was the case, I realized that I had to become Muslim!

The impact that Islam has had on my life and my development is even amazing to me. There is not enough room here to mention it, but I am completely grateful to Allah for what He has done in guiding me to this way of life called Islam. I don't really know what I did to deserve this, but I know what I have been through to know that I need this, and Praise and Glorification belongs to Allah for it. I'm ever thankful to Allah. I Only hope that my beliefs and actions and strivings are accepted by Him, that my performance of good deeds and obedience is rewarded by Him, and that my company in His eternal Garden of Bliss and Felicity and Joy is welcomed by Him! Ameen!!!